Because....

People have asked me why I write. Several have mocked it, mocked my topics, my style, my country taste. It’s all good though. Because I don’t care. I write for me and for whoever wants to read it. If you don’t like it, don’t read it and certainly don’t complain about it. I’m not asking for critics who have nothing nice to say.

I write because of imagination. Because I believe everyone has a story and every place has a fascinating history. I write because I know people yearn for entertainment and amusement and knowledge. Because they have for centuries. From the great stadiums where the English flocked to hear Shakespeare’s tragedies and from the time of the original troubadour who told in their songs stories of hero’s from lands afar. Those things haven’t changed much over the years. People haven’t changed and human nature hasn’t either.

 I have a fascinating imagination that I cannot lie about. My thirst for books at a young age took me places outside of the small world in which I had lived and showed my people and places far more fascinating than that of good ol’ Jersey County. I have stories I love to share-I came by the nickname Gabby at a young age and by honest ways- and so I have taken to writing them.

The last few months I have wished I had kept a journal of the previous year of my life. Wrote everything in such detail as it happened everyday as so that I would never forget the life and love I had been given through Jason. But I hadn’t and as I fear the memories will fade I find the words about him hard to come by as tears destroy the pages and the ink that I have put down.

I write because I find there is stories that need to be told, average people who need to be immortalized by pretty words and most importantly because I can escape into the stories I have written. No longer am I a scared little country girl fearing more than anything the night but strong and bold Kyra Summers who had overcome her own demons far better than I could ever hope to do. I become Avaleene Reynolds the moonshine runner tougher than any Duke. Joe Hamlin the hunter who lives a hard man’s life in a hard man’s profession in the treacherous west that Texas knew following the War between the states.

Writing gives me freedom; release from a world of boundaries a world of pain too great for most to handle.   

I feared publishing my work, few knew I wrote or ever wished to become a “writer” known by publication. The amount before that horrible night I could count on my fingers and toes. Most of them knew because of the strength I had in Jason believing in my dreams.

When he died I became center of attention and everyone knew my name, my face, and my heartache. People remember more devastation than they would ever remember the good. More than 2,000 people came through his funeral line at the showing and mourned his death. Many who did not show gave me their condolences. That was many more than who would ever have congratulated us on the wedding we had been quietly planning for.

In Jason’s death I found myself thrust into a center of attention I never wanted to be a part of for any circumstance. And I found myself unable – and unwilling- to write. I still remember, sitting on my bed, where I am right now, and telling a friend I had no idea how to get through this.

He had been perhaps the first person, over two years ago, that I ever told I wanted to be a writer (and most likely the only person who hasn’t read anything I’ve ever written, ever liked my writers page on Facebook or been remotely supportive of me as a writer since publication but whatever- jackass) anyhow... he told me I had to write. Sit down and even if I didn’t write about Jason write about something. Because when I did write about Jason and did put that out there to the world that it would help somebody who had also been cursed by heartache similar to mine.

So I did. I wrote and I sold articles and then published my book if only to prove that he was an arrogant jerk and wrong yet again (because he is always wrong and I am always right). But it helped. I was shocked to discover that I was able to write and able to finally push through on perhaps my only last living dream-being a writer.

Today, three months and two weeks after Jason’s accident there are only three things I find release in. Busting my butt at the gym until I can no longer move, seeing his friends who loved him so greatly and take care of me still the best they can, and writing.

I’ve got a lot of useless stuff to say to the world. Writing lets me put it out to the world and lets you decide if you want to listen.

FFA- Friends Forever and Always

President’s Day week-for four years this week meant everything to me- from my Freshman Greenhand days till my Senior banquet it meant one thing National FFA Week. Future Farmers of America. It meant muddy trucks, fundraiser lunches, blue and gold and country attire days. Even though I hung up my jacket almost a year and a half ago some things haven’t changed.

We were laughed at, for being yes, a favorite mocking and mature nickname, the Future Faggots of America. We were laughed at for our black skirts, our panty hose and heels and our dress scarves and corduroy national blue jackets and being able to recite our Creed from heart.

We were mocked by students and teachers alike for being so serious, we weren’t a real club, we didn’t do anything and we certainly weren’t an athletic club so we had no real standing with most schools and our classes weren’t for “booksmarts” as some teachers had said . Clearly, these people had never even wondered down the CTE (career and technical education) hallway, because we had more real world experience and skills than anyone just playing ball and just hitting the books.

From my most humiliating experience Freshman year in public speaking (first time ever speaking in front of people, Mr. Goetten’s 6^th hour shop class, all boys Juniors and Seniors, horrible flashbacks) to walking across that Illinois State FFA Convention stage to receive my State Degree a month after my high school graduation and everything in between, I lived to serve.

Most people see the FFA for what it is based upon, agriculture, the center for our little (haha) club. But our family is so much more. The Association prides itself on leadership, teamwork, personal growth and being America proud. Our colors are chosen by those are nation chose to live by, our flags fly proudly, our pledge said proudly hands over our hearts and our hearts belong to the America we work to serve and live our lives to feed.

Through my CDE’s (career development event) I learned how to judge livestock on its conformation and its ability to serve us for food, how to judge meat and milk products based on its quality for our intake and nutrition, how to tell apart weeds and seeds, how to run a business and how to run a meeting according to Roberts Rules of Parliamentary Order, and how to give a speech to a room full of people without panicking. I learned how to serve my school, my community, and strangers all through my service to one association.

I went in a bratty kid and came out-well an older kid but a little less a brat- and came out with connections of friends all over the state, friends who have continued their service to agriculture at a political and spokesperson positions. Who as college aged students are across the country and running with the “big boys” and playing key roles in agriculture at the public level and caring for us plain old run of the mill farmers.

Being a FFA member didn’t just meaning being an aggie it meant being a family. FFA doesn’t just mean Future Farmers of America; it means Friends Forever and Always.

Follow Up to the State of the Union

My follow up to the State of the Union Address, that I just finished reading the text of via The New York Times website - http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/13/us/politics/obamas-2013-state-of-the-union-address.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1 – will be short and not-so-sweet. I have been mortally embarrassed and yet not shocked by what Obama reported.

He reported to us nothing that most of the general public did not know. He did not offer valid solutions, truly inspiring and hopefully words as we have come to respect and love from many of our former Presidents. But perhaps people just do not speak in such pretty language to give such a nation strength no more.

Obama did not offer us solutions to our immigration or gun control or many other pressing subjects that we need action from in the highest form of our government. Rather he tooted his own horn about issues that- while hold some or great importance – he has claimed to have “fixed”. The economy, please don’t make me laugh. To many I know firsthand including my household is without a job.

His fix to the healthcare solution. I’m 19 years old and had taken time off from college because I choose to work, had I choose to stay in school I would have been in great debt I’m sure and yet his “joke” of a solution is too expensive, and still doesn’t cover anything for me. For a simple doctors visit I will pay almost 80 dollars, the excludes no medicine, and no tests if needed. Just because my father was injured in a work related accident and put on disability when I was in middle school, and that insurance no longer covered me once I turned 18.  

He did not mention how he or the rest of Washington will handle the 2^nd Amendment debate; although he addressed the situation he did not address a solution. But I won’t be the first to tell you, that they will pry my 2^nd Amendment and my gun out of my cold dead hands.

Obama gave us no hope, and still ended his speech with God bless America. A man who is, to my understanding- not of a religion where he has the right to use those words. A political ploy and a slap across the face for Christians and American’s who believe in one true God. It’s one thing that we allow any religion to be practiced in America – we are the home of the free- and that should be allowed. They want to take God out of my country though that was built by good Christian men- that is something that is just wrong. But to allow the countries “Great Father in Washington” disrespect our religion? Gives me great question to our morals.

What do you think about the State of the Union Address? Did it meet your standards? Or do you find me totally incorrect? Opinions are always respected and welcome.

What Will Obama Say?

In a few hours President Obama will present his State of the Union address. Some people anxiously await what our President will have to say while others aren’t looking forward to it. Many will believe most of what Obama says is utter B.S. some will believe what he says is golden and that he is doing the best job anyone can for the country. Others will be angry and-some-are rooting for his impeachment. (One day I will go into all the reasons why some Democrats, Independents and Republicans would love to see our historic first African American President hit the streets despite his recent re-election.)

There a few things I look forward to hearing with the State of the Union (not in any particular order).

1. The Unemployment Rate- Currently 7.9% (a rise in January, although the economy is showing signs of improvement. Okay??)  

2. Immigration. (Illinois now grants drivers licenses and the like to illegal immigrants. We can’t support our own citizens. Why support illegal immigrants? Let’s see what Obama has to say for that!)

3. This isn’t one I look forward to him addressing although I have read many will - the climate – not a major concern next to some of these other problems.

4. This is my major issue! 2^nd AMENDMENT! This is the big one on the State of the Union I look forward to hearing more about. With Sandy Hook shooting, the ex-police officer on a killing spree and all the other things you have been hearing on mainstream media I look forward to the President explaining how he and his affiliates are going to take away my right to defend my person and my family.

5. The war. As long as soldiers are deployed and are meeting resistance in the combat forms there needs to be concern about our men and women.

6. South Korea and their nuclear testing. Today on the news I learned about South Korea’s third nuclear bomb underground testing. What is America, and their United Nations, going to do about this? This is ridiculous and must be dealt with. If America tends to stay one of the strongest nations- and I pray we do- this will be something that we cannot allow. The nuclear weapons that we launched on Japan during WWII was the first mistake and America cannot allow other nations (including ourselves) have this kind of power over other human beings with such weapons.

                (This brings me around to the second amendment again, we can’t have guns and ammunition to protect ourselves but South Korea can have nuclear weapons! Come on America put on your big boy panties’!)  

Maybe America will get positive answers with completed promises. But mainly we will probably get the run around. No answers. No hope. And a bunch of lies. Either way it will be an entertaining speech.

A Short Rant on Coyote Hunting with GPS

For as long as I can remember I have been hunting coyotes with my grandfather. He had been hunting them with fox hounds since my mother was a young girl and that hadn’t changed by the time I came around. In the years that I can remember hunting we have owned at least seven different dogs. I have loved everyone and enjoyed listening to every dog run.

It’s not about killing the coyotes necessarily, at least not for me. It’s about listening to the dogs run and a good coyote giving chase.

When my grandfather started running dogs there was no such things as tracking collars and dogs ran free and were just expected to return home when they were done or return to where they had been set loose.

Those days were gone by the time I was hunting. Our trackers were (and still are) huge antenna trackers with heavy box bases. For most hunters, gone are those days too. New GPS trackers allow dog owners to track their dogs within the feet and signals don’t bounce of hills and hollers (a serious problem where I’m from) or allow telephone wires to interfere.

But when you are chasing dogs around the countryside and in pickup trucks it cuts out on how much you have to get out of your vehicle. It takes out the guessing game as well, when you have a constant update GPS that keeps telling you where your dogs are heading and exactly where they will come out, it makes hunting a little like cheating.

More than likely if you can tell where your dogs that are running are exactly heading it makes it easy to tell where the dogs prey is.

Perhaps considering that “cheating” is taken out by the fact that I don’t have the resources- a high enough Cabela’s credit card limit or just the ability to let go of close to a grand- it’s a good possibility that everyone who owns the latest technology enjoys it immensely.

GPS makes it easy to catch dogs when it’s time to round up and go home. It also helps to keep them off of main roads and off of properties they aren’t supposed to be on.

Like everything that modern technology is supposed to do, GPS makes things “easier” in life. However hunting isn’t supposed to be easy. If it was easy it wouldn’t be something that most people would enjoy. (Well hunting could just be a wee little bit easier or I could be a lot better!)

 

A Futuristic Illinois

I can’t honestly tell you who came up with the idea to break up the states in the way that they did or how that decided to do it for that matter. I know part of it was geographically. Rivers run this way and that ways, so those are easy boarders. Some of it was by the way the United States acquired the land.

However, I as a young citizen of Illinois see that this is not working. I grew up in a southern part of Illinois, not far from Saint Louis and fifteen minutes from where the Mississippi meets the Illinois River. I’m a country girl by nature and a farmer family by trade.

My state government however is made up majority of people who do not understand my needs. They don’t  understand my need as a lower middle class citizen to protect my home by the Second Amendment. They don’t understand that I don’t want their aide. They don’t understand that I still want to work; I still want to be able to make a living and care for myself and my family.

Maybe my beliefs are old fashioned for Springfield but I have an idea that maybe Washington needs to interfere with.

But first here’s what spawned that idea. I have always been a history buff, always proud of where I came from. I was a United States citizen and I was from the great state of Illinois who gave the world one of the best men Abraham Lincoln (The President, not the Vampire Slayer) and then this questionable yet history book making (only because of Lincoln) man named Obama. I was home to farmers, the world tallest man, and other cool things on a small scale.

By high school, I realized what a joke that was. Politician after politician was being indicted with corruption charges yet nothing was being done. Tried, possibly convicted, short stupid sentence. (Note: I was in high school during the Rod Blagojevich incident).

Finally when I was a senior in high school I got to set down in government class. Ah what a joy Mr. Gracey’s 7:30 a.m. early bird class was. Once you got worked up in government class you were pissed off all day long. And I got worked up a lot.

I remember one day after discussing God only knows what at least one other classmate and myself realized how easy it would be to just “fix” Illinois. Separate Chicago from Illinois.

Two years later, I still believe this is a real possibility. It has been suggested by some of my fellow Illinois citizens we even start a petition.

It’s not that we want to just kick out Chicago. We don’t hate them. We hate the fact that Chicago has the population and the money to have a pull in the Illinois General Assembly.

I’m not Democratic or Republican but General Illinois knowledge dictates that Democrats will, on almost every case have the ruling hand when it comes to the Assembly. But that hasn’t been working. There hasn’t been an even balance enough to get anything accomplished.

America has states for a reason. Because policies that work here in California might sound ridiculous to people in Delaware. That’s the problem in Illinois. What is good for Chicago isn’t good for a good chunk of Illinois. Chicago has a higher population, more varied ethnic groups, crime rates, variations of ideas.

Not that this isn’t a problem among the rest of Illinois just not always in such intense ways. Most of Illinois is still blue collar Americans. Many of which have agriculture based families and business who make their living from the land.

A project that would be high priority in Chicago such as programs to help keep children from gangs would sound ridiculous for most of Illinois because we don’t live with that problem day to day. While to average Chicago people dealing with agriculture problems would sound ridiculous to them.

Yes I understand all states have their rural areas and major cities. But my point is there are so many differences between Chicago and the rest of the state the irreconcilable differences could be cited on the divorce papers. There is no middle ground with Illinois General Assembly. Chicago needs one thing and Illinois needs another.

The best proposal for the new state lines is that everything North of 1-80 be Northern Illinois and everything South be Southern Illinois.

There are too many opportunities that the separation can help fix to go into in such a short time but the ideas the same. Some things just don’t work out.

I find it’s a good idea. Some others will, some more won’t. Just some marriages can’t be saved and must be ended for the good of the couple and the good of the family Illinois and Chicago needs separated for the good of each other and the United States in general.

Feel free to give me your thoughts and ideas.

One Smart Guy

The video I will discuss below will not be found on mainstream media. However it needs shared and its message needs heard. Pass it along.

 I have always believed in the 2^nd Amendment and my right to protect myself as well as participate in the sport of gunned hunting. Just today I safely and legally took to woods and fields to hunt coyotes with my families bolt action .22 Magnum rifle.

With all the gun bashing by Washington, and to be quite frank, other outspoken people who don’t know the facts or the have enough common sense to own a gun safely themselves. But these are probably the people that text and drive and blame Apple and Honda for the crash.

It’s the same concept. Same idea. Guns don’t kill people, dads with pretty daughters do. Well that’s not a good example. But you get the idea. If guns kill people, forks make people fat, cars make people speed, pencils’ misspell words and Washington makes politicians stupid. Well the last one can be debated.

When I saw this video had been shared to my Facebook newsfeed I was intrigued. Of course “Sandy Hook Father Owns Congress” as a title was sure to grab my attention. I’m not a revolutionist I believe the American government despite its current pathetic state is still the greatest in which to live under. But having a good hearted average American tell the rich politicians how we average Joe’s will not be treated is pretty cool in my book.

While the wake of the Sandy Hook Tragedy, and yes lets clear this up right here and right now, there was a tragedy, little innocent children did die and there should be no one even remotely convinced that this is an entire conspiracy theory when little angles were taken to heaven cruelly. (Did the government possibly tweek some things to have the tragedy help their own agendas? Probably but that’s not the point.) Anyways, some people believe that guns should be banned, especially people whose children where in the school that day.

I have lived through some terrible losses but however I could not phantom losing a child especially in that way. Yet, if my child had been killed or in the lock down that day the first thing I would do would most certainly not be handing my guns over to the government. The police are wonderful but it is not possible to protect every man, woman and child every moment of every day. Therefor I would most likely place my guns and ammunition (make note that I currently only own guns of a sporting nature nothing that resembles military or home defense weaponry) where it could be easily accessed so that I could protect my children and they would feel safe.

Applause for Bill Stevens for feeling the same way. Not only does what he state that the politicians have the right to protection why don’t everyone? He mentions how illegal and asinine the legislation to ban guns is as stated by the Constitution. Applause to Bill for standing up for Newtown and the children in it by knowing that lockdowns and 9-1-1 isn’t always enough.

Sometimes you really have to fight fire with fire.

The youtube link to to video is posted below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhXPlCjr0Vw